One of the results of 3 months in hospital was that my muscles suffered a lot of muscle wastage especially in my calves. I have been working out a lot in the past year or so as part of my physiotherapy and although I am walking again I still have weak muscles in my legs.
I think that this is part of the reason that I have not been able to start running again as I still don’t feel fully confident that my legs are working like they should be, they need some work!
It is a real goal to run again maybe not the 5/10K that I was doing before this incident but just to step off and run.
When I realised that I couldn’t walk during this illness it was a huge mental blow but I was determined that I would walk again and I did.
I reached a point in my recovery where I thought I can walk. In my mind it was easy, but in reality I just couldn’t take that first step.
That first step was probably one of the hardest things that I have ever done but once achieved it was all go and within 6/8 weeks with the aid of a walking stick and a few falls I was walking again.
Walking has become a real thrill and something that I will never take for granted.
So, I can walk but can I run?
Even though I suffered two serious brain traumas, after months of operations, treatment and therapy all seems fine in that department. So, my thought process is working fine but I still can’t run because I mentally cannot take that first step to start running!
So why not?
It’s not because I am afraid of falling I have done that many times before, I know I can walk as I do this every day, so what is keeping this big wall up?